Waking up thinking "my life is shit"

My life is shit.

That's the first thought i had when i woke up on a Saturday morning 9:45 am.

Then I was terrified by this thought.

How can i even think like this? This is definitely a powerful, evil spell.

Third thing I did was sit down and really ponder about this notion.

Why would I feel life is shit?

Cause my work ain't finished

I think it all started from yesterday.

I finished writing the Stoicism article. First I was happy that it's finally done. Then immediately I felt sort of empty.

It's not newsletter time yet. Newsletter is biweekly, but I aim to write one article each week, which means one article won't get any attention for a week.

It feels like the loop didn't close because there is no feedback or no reward at the end.

I think I need some feedbacks even if it's not newsletter time yet.

Just publishing an article is not the end. I need to shout and let other people know that I have something new for them.

Just like when the chef finishes cooking, it's not done until server delivers it to the customer.

Learnings #1: I need to post something on social media to let others know that I have something new for them. Just finish writing is not the end of the content creating workflow.
learnings #2 : I need feedbacks and evaluation. I need to self-assess if the writing has achieved my objective. I need readers to assess if the article is engaging, fun and informative. I need other writers to evaluate my writing.

Cause my writing needs improvement

Later I showed my work to a friend in real life.

And he's BLOODY honest.

As he scrolled down my article, he made comments along the way:

Where is the table of contents?
What's the relationship between these subheadings? I don't think they follow through logically. I'm lost.
(pointing at a paragraph that I felt really proud of when writing) What is this shit ? I don't want to read it, seems boring.
This article is too preachy and pedantic. I want to read an interesting story. Where is the story?

I was blown away.

It's like the server did deliver the dish to the customer.

The customer had one bite and said "great work don't cook ever again", then flipped the table, slammed the door and left.

ok, maybe a little exaggerated but you get the idea.

I need to calm down, especially when my whole article is about stoicism and how to be free from emotions...

I mean dude's not completely wrong.

Learnings #3:
Pay attention to article structure and subheadings, make sure readers can follow easily.
Don't indulge in the narcissist ego when writing. Always think about if some paragraphs fit in the whole picture and if readers have appetite for it. Don't be greedy.
Learn story-telling. People like to be entertained and they like figuring out things themselves instead of being shoved with boring teachings.

Feeling like shit means I got work to do

To summarize the turmoil, I don't feel good because there is no rewards for my work, or only negative rewards.

To address this, I need to do 3 things:

  1. promote my work on social media after writing
  2. improve my writing to be more reader focused
    1. pay attention to structure
    2. more engaging by telling stories
    3. cut irrelevant part out
  3. I need to build an evaluation system for my writing, comprised of self-assessment, reader feedback and peer review.

Emotion is a call to action

Negative emotion is like a pager that rings at 2 am to wake you up.

It alarms you that something might be wrong.

It calls you to notice it, accept it, analyze it and act upon it.

Your job is to

  1. identify the gap between current reality and the ideal future
  2. think about what actions you can take to be closer to the destination
  3. act and re-evaluate if it's the right move and repeat

If you do nothing about it, it will just ring and ring and ring. It's annoying, white noise and distracts you from living a normal life.

Treat it like the beginning line of a marathon. It's the start of a journey. Go beyond it and see where it leads you to and what it wants to show you. Stopping there makes it a swamp, swallowing you all together. Moving on then you will find a path to a different, brighter future.